10-10 The airport, or Kenya's nod to Dante's nine circles of hell

We got to the airport entrance and had to exit the car and walk about 100 yards to the security building, leaving all our belongings in the car. Maxwell then drove the car to another lane to be searched by security. We had to go through an x-ray security screening. Back in the car we got, and Maxwell parked near the departures area. He escorted us to the door and was told that departures for British Airways had moved, so the three of us walked halfway across the airport to the new departures area. Our passports were checked at the door and we bade farewell to Maxwell. We then went through the usual baggage screening procedure. Once through we headed to the British Airways check in desk where there were about 20 passengers in line, but not a BA employee in sight. Since they recommended arriving at the airport 3 hours early, this was a tiny bit frustrating. So, we stood there. And stood. About an hour later a bunch of BA personnel showed up carrying their chairs with them. They then spent about 15 minutes taping the “restricted items” signs up to their windows. They then had a conference behind the desks and anyone who wasn’t flying business or first class was required to go through security screening again. Then they decided that they didn’t like the configuration of the line, so they told all the non-Business and non-first class passengers to wait across the room while they rearranged the ropes and stanchions to make a zig-zag check-in line. Another conference behind the desk and we had now killed another 30 minutes. Finally they started checking in passengers, a painfully slow process. I have learned in my time here that Kenyans are very proud of their country and that raving about how wonderful it is (It truly is, mind you) gets you better treatment. Show any impatience and they slow down their work. All checked in, our one bag headed off down the belt. We took a tiny bit of consolation in the fact that KLM and Air France passengers were still waiting with no personnel at all at their check-in desks.

Across the terminal we headed to immigration. One person was checking passports for all passengers on all flights and there were about 30 flights scheduled to depart that evening. After a while a second person arrived at immigration, but he was only checking documentation for Kenyan citizens. I told the immigration officer how sad we were to be leaving. He asked how long we had been in Kenya. We told him 16 days. He said that was not enough and that next time we must say for 90 days. Sounds good to me.

Now we went upstairs to try to find the BA lounge. Not so fast! We had to go through another security screening. Computers out of bags, empty your pockets, take off your shoes, walk through the scanner. Okay, now we’ll go to the BA lounge. Wait, where is the BA lounge? There’s no signage anywhere. We found an airport employee who led us to the lounge, except there is no BA lounge; BA passengers are allowed to use the Kenyan Airways lounge. Okay. So we settled in to kill the last couple of hours before our flight. They had all manner of food and drink, including a “pour it yourself” bar, so if you wanted a double or a triple or a whole glass of gin, for that matter, fine. The person at the lounge reception desk had advised us to leave for the gate 15 minutes before boarding was to begin. The time arrived and off we went. We got to the gate only to see that all the passengers were lined up to go through – wait for it – another passport check and security screening! There were two lines converging at the screening table, so a lot of pushing a shoving ensued. There was a tense situation at passport control when a Muslim woman with a US passport was being grilled by airport personnel. The passenger spoke very little English, couldn’t remember her address or zip code as listed on her passport. Supervisors were called and lots of conferring was done. We never did see if she made it onto the plane.

From arrival at the airport till boarding at 10:45pm, four hours had passed. This on a day when we had gotten up at 4:45 am. After a welcoming glass of champagne I watched a terrific film, “The Good Liar” with Ian McKellen, Helen Mirren and Jim Carter, had a light meal and had absolutely no trouble dropping off to sleep. Farewell, Kenya. I’ll miss you. I won't, however, miss your airport.